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NineZero

[ website | In The Cage (The Nine Zero Experience) ]
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It's like July, but it's NOT. [Jun. 24th, 2010|11:45 pm]
NineZero
[Feelin... |drunkdrunk]
[Download THIS! |Rooney - When Did Your Heart Go Missing?]

"Now here I sit in a cage on my own, it's a new life, it's a brand new home.. And it's made out of steel, it's built out of fear, it's closed up to you, and it's part of the deal.. If I only knew the things I know now, then I'd take it all back, and I'd turn it around." 6.24.10

It's amazing that lyrics from SISTER HAZEL is going to get me there.. wicked cookie cutter band, not exactly Snow Patrol.. but the heart needs what the heart needs.

But I'm there.

FINALLY.

All the confusion and trying to find my step since I moved home, all the questions, all the confusion, the dead from day one relationship (oh shit hope she doesn't ever see that word, she'll lose her mind), the dead from day one JOBS plural.. the time it took to be comfortable again home where I belong, and the confidence that needed to come with it.. it's done.

It took a LOT longer to feel it again coming HOME than it did moving out to the desert. I think mainly because I was willing to accept starting at the bottom when we moved to Vegas, and it wasn't easy to accept pulling in the driveway back here, stepping out of the car and not still being on top.

Truth is, I gave up my top spot when I left all my friends and job behind.. how egotistical was it on my end to think I'd just step right back in and be the BOSS, the CAPTAIN and the STRAW that stirred the drink? No idea why I thought everyone wouldn't forget I left. It was respect I am still earning, bonds maybe that are still being repaired, and a big slap in the yap from reality.

Vegas made me forget loyalty. I made a million friends out there, from every culture imaginable. I had a small handful of friendships that I thought would last forever when I thought Vegas was MY HOME forever..

Today? I am left with THREE people that still live in Vegas who I hope to always know. (Not counting Cora, she's coming HOME soon.)

When Cora and I moved to Vegas, my plan was to break into the casino industry, knowing I would take a pay cut, work hard to advance and had a nest egg to get us by in the meantime.. and I caught a bounce while poker was booming and the rest is well documented. There is no WAY I could look someone in the eye who asks me if I regret the move to Vegas and say yes. I dealt poker on the Las Vegas strip. I dealt poker in a tournament where the top prize was $33,000. Not the WSOP, but still.. it was a ROCK STAR job.

When I moved home, my plan was to goof off with my friends, begin my relationship with whats-her-face and the rest would take care of itself.. right? NO? Wait whatdya mean? Oh this isn't the reunion anymore? This is real life now? Wipe the smirk off your face, accept that no one does anything except on weekends, and GET A REAL JOB?

Originally, it wasn't presented that way.. All smiles, I had the job, had the girl, had a home to myself.. Las Vegas is an oasis in the desert. New England will punch you in the face. Because it's real here. Which IRONICALLY is why I moved home in the first place..

It has taken me almost 8 calendar months to get all of this..

If you GET THE GIRL? She's not the only one here. If it doesn't work, no big deal there are 1000 better. In Vegas.. I dunno, you don't date them, they're crazy thieves and druggies.. (no not ALL of them, of course).

If you GET THE JOB? Make sure it's one you WANT to do, and are CAPABLE of doing.. there are PLENTY of jobs here.. in Vegas, you learn to become a little bitch to your job if you want to keep it. (The 2 jobs I had in Vegas when I moved home were PERFECT for me and fun.)

Now that I am at peace with how I feel about friends, women and work, I'm once again in a place I was at while living in Vegas..

I've got a ton of stuff lined up this summer with great friends who I wouldn't see if I'd stayed in Vegas, I'm back where I was mentally with women while I was in Vegas, meaning I'm not interested in them anymore and great with it, and now I will focus my attention on a career.. this is the first time since 1994 that I haven't had a convertible, and I WANT one again.

See if I can't do some great things for some great friends in the meantime.
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The last epiphany. [May. 12th, 2010|11:37 pm]
NineZero
[Feelin... |cynicalcynical]
[Download THIS! |3 Colors Red - Beautiful Day]

I did some serious spring cleaning on Facebook.

The hurt finally turned to anger.

I'm usually a lot smarter about things, but I wasn't this time. I went in blind.

I am almost 39 years old.. I've lived with women, I was married, I'll never pretend to fully understand anyone really, male or female but I would like to think I have a pretty good sense of what it's all about.. I always learn from my life experiences..

So why did I let this last thing happen?

I came home and dated a girl who was incredible to me for a few months, and I ignored the biggest fact I never took into consideration..

39 years on Earth.. I have never met a single woman that has put up with more shit from her husband and stayed with him. Not an exaggeration. It's not even close.

I have NO IDEA why I thought, -I- was going to be Prince Charming and sweep her off her feet.. And this entry is public, not going to discuss much about her life, it's not her journal, and no one's business really, including mine.

I just wish she never made it my business.

The fact that she is forever attached to him is fine, but the picture that was painted was bullshit at best.. originally the idea was, after 6 months, meet the kids, after a year move in.. yeah right.

THAT'S what I'm pissed about.. it was a complete impossibility from minute one. She should never have wasted my time with that.. that family is locked in. There is no room for anyone else, and nothing is ever going to change that. And AGAIN.. that is fine for HER, if that's how she wants to live..

I didn't need to be 'rebound guy' or 'revenge guy'.. I don't date people.. I gave up on 'multi-tasking' 13 years ago..

The only weird thing about she and I.. is when I had a crush on her all those years ago, I always kind of hung onto hope until I saw her with her baby and the husband.. when I saw that, I moved on pretty fast.

Now I'm doing it for the second time. It'll be just as fast, but this time, the baby wears a size 15 shoe, and I'm throwing away cards, letters, gifts and pictures.

Said it before.. Tony says, 'Live in the castle you build.'

I'm pouring the foundation and covering the last bullshit six months.
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Closure. [Apr. 20th, 2010|03:25 pm]
NineZero
[Feelin... |melancholymelancholy]
[Download THIS! |The final disc.. 'Our Last Dance'.]

James Blunt - Same Mistake

"Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep..
Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars beneath my feet..
Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go..

Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go.
My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?
I lose the track that loses me, so here I go..

And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night.
Said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me,
So I set out to cut myself, and here I go..

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice..
Give me reason but don't give me choice,
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again..

And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak.
Don't buy the promises 'cause, there are no promises I keep,
And my reflection troubles me, so here I go..

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice..
Give me reason but don't give me choice,
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again..

Saw the world turning in my sheets.. and once again I cannot sleep..
Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars..
Look at the stars fall down..
And wonder where.. did I go wrong.."

-------------------

Tasty beverages. The triplets. Red or green? Blue if I had to. All the colors of the rainbow are available.

All meant the same thing to me.. for YEARS.

Mad Dog 20/20.

I used to tell close friends that MD 20/20 was the only thing I could always turn to and it would never disappoint me.

Three bottles every night like clockwork. (Three identical bottles. Triplets.)

Usually start around 6PM.. wrap it up a little after midnight..

It's a different buzz. Not like the one you get from hard stuff or beer.

Wake up in the morning, no hangover. Ever. A little foggy, but small price to pay. Right?

WRONG.

Drinking has caused me nothing but aggravation for years.. my friends put up with my 'lost conversations', booze has kept me from doing things I love, has caused an absolutely COUNTLESS amount of injuries, (including the one I am nursing now; a HUGE scrape up my back and sore left arm), it may or may not have cost me my favorite car in Vegas, sure as shit didn't help my marriage and when I was on my 2 handles of cheap vodka every 3 days kick? Nearly killed me.

When I say nearly killed me, I am saying randomly throwing up at any time, anywhere.. I needed a bag in my car just in case.. I dropped 35 pounds in 2 months. THAT'S when I stopped last.. that was in Vegas, around Thanksgiving 2008. It lasted almost 2 months until I 'got depressed' again (otherwise known as found an excuse to drink) and went back to my old friend, MD 20/20..

I had stopped drinking it when I moved from Massachusetts. Vegas was supposed to be our start to healthier things (Cora and I) and MD 20/20 was not going to be part of my new life. But when I realized I couldn't drink the hard stuff anymore, I found the loophole.. back to 20/20 I went.

Being single in Vegas was a choice. I was content living there, loveless and single. I didn't need a woman, or want one. No dating, no one night stands, no interest.. so to me, it didn't matter if I was drinking that much. This trend continued from February 2009 on.. then that whole Facebook Faceoff thing happened and I came home to visit..

The story has been written and done to death.. came home to visit, awesome visit, awesome party and got unexpectedly blindsided by love in the process.

So I came home and started this new relationship, and although I wasn't drinking as much as I was in Vegas, I eventually gravitated to it.. all the setbacks I was hitting with the car repairs and job failures 'caused' me to fall back into old habits..

Drinking that much just doesn't go with love.. How could I have ever loved her, or taken care of her when I didn't even care about myself? It took it's toll. And once again, I lost something important to me. I lost her.

Even though she and I split over a month ago, I never got closure until today. We met for a walk this morning. I didn't know what to expect from the conversation, I went in hoping we might start fresh and spend time together doing the things we never really got a chance to do.. Also knowing there were a lot more obstacles down the road if it ever did get serious (again).. I figured there was nothing guaranteed, but we should find out. That this was too important to give up on.

What I didn't expect was her telling me how easy it was to tell when I was drinking.. and she used "Jeckyll and Hyde" to describe it. I just never realized how bad I could be when I drink that much. And how could I? I have a history of forgetting entire conversations depending on how deep into the night I am.

There was no fixing this. There was no do-over. This was it. She told me she loved spending time with me sober, had no regrets, and reminisced a little.. but the phone calls stopped because of my drinking after Va;entine's Day. I never knew why she just STOPPED talking to me on the phone. I was too busy trying to figure out what her problem was instead of my own. She's right, I never even thought of it. Whenever I would see her, I would stay sober. If I wasn't going to see her, I was drinking.

I have no one to thank but myself for it.

Ironically, I haven't touched a drop of MD 20/20 in ten days. Once I got the gig at Budweiser, there was no way I could keep drinking like that.. not a job you can do in a fog, or at my current shape.. so I joined the gym, stopped drinking, other than socially.. and it's been an easy transition, I hated doing it anyway.

The thought that will continue to haunt me? Of all the great things she and I experienced together, how I was when I was drunk was so bad, there was no way to restart it. It outweighed the good by that much? That's hard to swallow. But it is what it is.. can't change it now.

I can only make sure I don't do it again. If I decide to date again anytime soon.

And I'll be honest, living that way in Las Vegas, single and carefree is one thing. Doing it HERE is very, very lonely. There is no neon here, and everyone goes to bed at the same time. There is nowhere to turn at 3AM in this town.

I'm not convinced she was the answer to all my prayers. There were still a LOT of issues we never even got to. I do believe I am home for a reason, after SWEARING I wasn't coming home from Vegas.

Looking forward to seeing what that reason truly is.
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The Royal We. [Mar. 29th, 2010|01:03 am]
NineZero
[Feelin... |busybusy]
[Download THIS! |Really?]

we are ready for the siege
we are armed up to the teeth
be careful how you live and breathe
release what's brewing underneath

how many times do you want to die
how many ways do you want to die

to feel safe again look over your shoulder
very carefully look over your shoulder

we can laugh about it now
we hope everything works out
be careful how you lick your wounds
believe the change is coming soon

how many times do you want to die
how many ways do you want to die

to feel safe again look over your shoulder
very carefully look over your shoulder

you used to do a little but a little wont fly
and right before you hit your prime
that's when we fell in love but not the first time

can it please you still
renaming your father's will
or does it make you ill
let us bruise their knees
we will aim straight for the feed
you will be relieved
so relieved so relieved
turn on desire
feel the sparks of the friendly fire
misery inspires
your throat has been cut
several times before
never noticed the size of the flow
it can't be ignored
to feel safe again look over your shoulder
very carefully look over your shoulder
you said you believed it but believing wont fly
and right before you hit your prime
that's when we fell in love but not the first time
and when it's all over and you open your eyes
to see the room turned on it's side
you'll be lying by a note on the floor signed...
...'the royal we'
the royal we
the royal we
the royal we
the royal we
the royal we
the royal we
the royal we
'love, the royal we'
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Six months. [Mar. 18th, 2010|11:21 pm]
NineZero
[Feelin... |nostalgicnostalgic]
[Download THIS! |Incubus - Oil and Water]

Last August, I moved in with a friend I used to deal poker with in Vegas. I was happy living by myself, but didn't care for my condo. There are reasons why condos in Vegas are more expensive to live UPSTAIRS. And I learned.

So I moved in with her after we talked for hours one night after I looked at the place. We had a great night, caught up on stuff because we hadn't talked in over a year, she made some dinner and I agreed to move in with her.

At the time, she was living off her savings, and playing poker to get by. Vegas was tough last August. Unemployment was closing in on 13%. I wasn't worried about her, because she is a headstrong girl with skills. The chick could deal cards. And talk her face off. I knew she would land something.

In the meantime, I kind of gave up and broke. I had my own place, with a gorgeous convertible, paying my bills with my two jobs I loved, but single. There was never any chance of that changing, because I was adamant about not dating. Wasn't interested. My thought was, Cora was the best friend I'll ever have, and our marriage failed. How am I going to be happy with anyone else? So I didn't try. I didn't look. I didn't care.

So I moved in with Brooke. Privacy was not going to be an issue for me, I was never going to have a woman over. And ten days later, I decided I didn't want to pay for a foreign car that I couldn't even find an AIR FILTER for, so since I had recently gone bankrupt anyway, let them take the Saab and I bought a 95 Toyota Paseo.

And again, it was a decision based on not needing to impress anyone driving it, better gas mileage, cheaper insurance and when it broke down, would be a cheap fix.

That was my life. Living in a two bedroom condo with a 26 year old woman, (platonic), having two jobs I loved but was never gonna get rich doing, eating take out and drinking. Hanging out with friends until the sun came up, waking up battered and bruised for various reasons, (mostly stupidity) and content doing it.

Then I decided to complicate things. Facebook happened. I was a Myspace guy, but suddenly on Facebook, I had 100 friends.. then 200.. then 300.. I couldn't even believe it. Seems like everyone I ever knew, for years or for five minutes.. from work or hockey.. from grammar school to high school.. from old friend to ex-girlfriend were there..

And for some reason, I decided to throw a party. In Lowell. From Vegas.

I called it the Facebook Faceoff. And I invited everyone on my friends list.. from every corner of my life, let's all get together and have a beer. It will be fun, invite all YOUR friends. Let's FILL the place.

I flew home for the first time in 2 years, and immediately started spending time with old friends before the party.. while I was home, I had a rental car thanks to a favor from someone who has been one of my best friends for 25 years, so I was seeing it all myself again.

The Red Sox jackets. The Patriots bumper stickers. Bruins jerseys. Shamrocks everywhere. I heard the accent that I once LOVED having but LOST after getting a job in the casino. I hid it. And learned to talk without it. What an asshole thing to do. Seriously, I hated myself for it every day.

Hearing people talk about things that were happening locally was almost new again. Because it pertained to EVERYONE. In Vegas, in a room with 100 people, no matter WHAT you had to say, you'd be lucky if 10% cared at all. Because in Vegas, there's no FAMILY outside your own. Or it's rare.

Then the party. The actual Facebook Faceoff.

I got there 15 minutes late, went with Scott and Nick, driven by a former classmate and great friend who I never would have heard from again without Facebook, Melanie.

Saw Kim outside.. hadn't seen her in 20 whatever years, hugged like we've always known each other.. walk in.. same thing KEPT HAPPENING.

In fact, it took me almost 2 hours to get past the bar in the center because all the old faces I grew up with kept pouring in.. it got overwhelming, I couldn't even keep up.

An hour into the party, with my camera in my pocket, I smiled and I told one of my closest friends that I wasn't going to take any pictures. I decided at that moment that I was moving home. Where I belonged. With friends and family. And because I was spread so thin, I knew whatever pictures I wanted, I would get when I moved home.

And then with what felt like a permanent smile on my face already, saw her walk in. Way back then she was the 'mystery girl'. The superultramegacutie. It was fun. I played it cool all night, only one person figured it out, I secretly picked up her tab and she went home.

She left me a voicemail that leveled me on her way home. It was fun, it was cute, brave and honest.. and it was new.

In SIX WEEKS, I took my life from where it was in Vegas, to where it was GOING back home. And I couldn't wait. All my friends, my family, and now a great girl too. I wasn't expecting all that from one trip home, but it happened. It was a whirlwind.

Took me a month to get it all together. Worked my ass off to save money, figured out my living situation, had a job lined up, my relationship with the mystery girl grew stronger every day.. had a few great 'last weekends' with my friends in Vegas, left it all behind and moved BACK to where I truly belong.

Driving home 3,010 miles cross country was one of the easiest things I have ever had to do with a gorgeous girl waiting for me anxiously, and another one of my best friends in Craig being my extra set of eyes and ears.. and since I got home, I have spent so much quality time with so many great people and my personal life has improved tenfold..

Then it started happening.. lost the job I came home to right before X-mas.. car was in shambles and took a big chunk of my savings to fix.. my mutual friends started fighting.. the next job I took wasn't paying the bills.. car accident.. mail issues.. tax issues.. TV broke.. tried working in an office and that sucked and ended in a week.. setback after setback.. Everything I was trying was failing. Nothing worked.

And then? I lost her too.

There is a HUGE negative side that has been built into my psyche. I only recently learned where it comes from, and I refuse to let it hold me down.

So the positive side of me which only comes out when I force it tells me, she helped get me home and made the drive so easy.. she is the sole reason I'll love again.. and I got four good months with a woman I crushed on for 20 years, and will always care about..

And now I am home where I belong. And I had a plan for 2010, and I'm gonna stick to it. My life is just going to improve. All the way around.
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Yikes! [Feb. 26th, 2010|12:06 am]
NineZero
[Feelin... |hungryhungry]
[Download THIS! |Linkin Park - What I've Done]

My favorite Vegas blogger just wrote tonight and he listed some 'scary things' that he has been through in his life.

And as we are very close in age, and moved to Vegas at the same time? We have things in common. Here is what Rex wrote:

"As someone who has intermittently flown airplanes for the last 25 or so years, I think it’s safe to say that I am not afraid of heights. I think it’s safe to say that I am not a fearful person in general. I was a bike messenger who was hospitalized three times after being hit by vehicles, I’ve owned and ridden motorcycles, I’ve ridden in helicopters, I’ve stood on stages in front of hostile crowds, I surfed in a hurricane and was hospitalized for contusions and lacerations, I’ve been bitten by a shark, I’ve gone up in the CN Tower and every major observation deck in North America, I’ve ridden every roller coaster and thrill ride imaginable, I’ve eaten at the Imperial Palace Buffet, I’ve gone to a Las Vegas physician, I watched a live taping of the Oprah Winfrey Show … many of these things provoke fear in rational human beings … but I took them all in complete stride."

There are a few that match, being bit by a shark is not one, but I ate the Imperial Palace buffet food every day I worked there for 2 and a half years, despite a LOT of co-workers frequently getting sick from it. Be smart about what you eat, if it looks funky, don't risk it. I made the mistake of drinking 11 Long Island Ice Teas in Fracville, PA with Hunt and then snagging 3 tacos from the local Mobil station at 2AM that appeared ORANGE in color and suffered the 'call of the wild', entertaining Hunt in the process.

Just always think it's funny how bad the rep is for my former employers buffet. It's fine. If you see orange taco meat, opt for the meatloaf. If that's not looking good? Ask Ali, the chef to cook you up a 3 egg omelet with cheddar and bacon.

Don't get mad at me now, I want one too now.. UGH
LinkLeave a comment

There's a lot to love about Lowell. [Feb. 11th, 2010|09:59 pm]
NineZero
[Current Location |The chair.]
[Feelin... |nostalgicnostalgic]
[Download THIS! |Fuel - Shimmer]

Last night I watched 'The Invention of Lying'. It was filmed mostly in Lowell, and Lowell is very prominently featured in the movie. At fascinating angles at the right time of weekend mornings, with CGI assisted spotless streets and bridges.

It's gorgeous.

This morning, I went to work at Fio's, and I always drive backroads.. past Shedd Park, then follow the Merrimack River all the way to the Falls. And every day I enjoy the view. I ALWAYS look at the scenery. It never gets old. The river in winter with the frozen spots, the bridges, the curves, the college.. I love my 'commute'.

First run this morning was to my former high school. The Voke. Or as I know it, the Greater Lowell Regional Vocational Technical High School District. Pull up to the guard shack, tell the guard (late forties, heavy) I'm dropping off food.. He says (nervously), "I dunno if you can get in buddy, we got some bullshit fuckin' test thing going on, go talk to that other security guard walking over there. I drive up past a fire truck and cruiser and tell the next younger guy what I'm doing.. he says (nonchalantly), "Yeah no problem brother, have a great day.." Dropped off the food, when I walked in, it SMELLED EXACTLY the same as it always has. You could blindfold me and put me in front of the information booth and I would tell you where I was without a doubt.

I mention the ages and weight and attitudes for a reason.. I missed it living out west. You don't get it if you have lived here your whole life. Security guards in Vegas are all super uptight dickholes who would just as soon club you for taking out a camera near the roulette wheel as ask you to please put the camera away.

Why?

Because Vegas doesn't let people have opinions. Or moods. Or choices. UNLESS you are a tourist. Vegas is a corporation. You will never be a name unless you own your own business. You are sheep. My boss told me 100 times not to ask upper management questions or voice an opinion. And he himself was a pretty headstrong, no bullshit guy.

Spent time on the phone with dad, at mom's house, really pulling in the scenery today because I'm done at Fio's (almost) after this weekend.. and it just kept coming today.. working with people I've known for 20 years, texting my girl who I've known for 20 years, putting in my notice to work for a friend I've had for 25 years.. every single turn I took pointed to the same thing.

I made the right decision leaving Las Vegas.

I don't say that because I ever waiver about my decision doing it. It occasionally bothers me that I didn't see it sooner. A lot of my Vegas friends saw it sooner than I did living there. And they left first. And at THIS EXACT SECOND? I wouldn't change a thing because I have memories and friends I honestly won't forget in Vegas, and if I come home earlier? Maybe my life changes somehow.. I like where I am. Not playing Life Yahtzee here. I'm good, I will take the points.

And tonight online, talked to another couple people from home, it's just right. Very nostalgic 24 hours. I've enjoyed it.

Now? Things are about to pick up. Time to tell 2010 how it's going to be. It's mine if I want it.
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Embrace - Gravity [Jan. 15th, 2010|11:19 pm]
NineZero
[Feelin... |lovedloved]
[Download THIS! |Embrace - Gravity]

She just left. This came on randomly. No way it's a coincidence when I have 3,800 songs.

"Gravity"

Honey, It's been a long time coming
And I can't stop now
Such a long time running
And I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating
Can you hear that sound
Cause I can't help thinking
And I don't look down

And then I looked up at the sun
And I could see
Oh the way that gravity turns for you and me
And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun
And the way that gravity pulls on everyone, on everyone

Baby, It's been a long time waiting
Such a long, long time
And I can't stop smiling
No I can't stop now
And do you hear my heart beating
Ah can you hear that sound
Cause I can't help crying
And I won't look down

And then I looked up at the sun and I could see
Oh the way that gravity turns on you and me
And then I looked up at the sun and saw the sky
And the way that gravity pulls on you and I, on you and I

Can you hear my heart beating
Can you hear that sound
Cause I can't help crying
And I wont look down
LinkLeave a comment

Top 20 of 2009. [Dec. 31st, 2009|10:07 pm]
NineZero
[Current Location |The usual.]
[Feelin... |accomplishedaccomplished]
[Download THIS! |These songs on random.]

These are my top 20 favorite songs that came out this year, (or at least became known to me).

Most don't know them, some like my taste in music while most don't.

But that's cool with me, because as I said, they are MY favorites.

Top 20 of the decade to follow soon.


20. O.A.R. - This Town
19. Collective Soul - Welcome All Again
18. Jordin Sparks - Battlefield
17. Thriving Ivory - Hey Lady
16. Cage The Elephant - No Rest For The Wicked
15. Augustana - Hey Now
14. Rise Against - Audience Of One
13. The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved
12. Rob Thomas - Someday
11. Vertical Horizon - Here
10. Safetysuit - Gone Away
9. Daughtry - No Surprise
8. Anberlin - Feel Good Drag
7. People In Planes - Last Man Standing
6. Carolina Liar - Show Me What I'm Looking For
5. Snow Patrol - The Lightning Strike
4. Safetysuit - Stay
3. Silversun Pickups - Panic Switch
2. Jack's Mannequin - Swim
1. Carolina Liar - Coming To Terms


Happy New Year everyone. Comments welcome and this will get cross-posted to Facebook.
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Fix You. [Dec. 24th, 2009|08:27 pm]
NineZero
[Feelin... |hopefulhopeful]
[Download THIS! |Coldplay - Fix You]

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you ...
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